It has certainly been a busy year… and especially for my sweet darling girl.
In the span of just a year, she has grown from a wee babe who was totally dependent on her mummy… to become a beautiful little toddler who has the sweetest smile, and the brightest of eyes. (But just not much hair.)
In her quiet little ways, she is a very determined baby who doesn’t take no for an answer. She tries again and again, and when you’re not looking, she tries it more last time.
She is also a pretty relaxed little lass who can sit and read books by herself, play with toys and she loves details especially on embroidered shirts, jewellery…
She loves to dance and enjoys “skinnamerink-y-dinky-dink” and points at her eyes at the appropriate moments. She can also pinch her toes when you sing “This little piggy”, make some of the actions to “incy wincy spider”.
And I think most of all, she loves her big sister Estelle. Everything that Estelle does is of immense interest. Every word and gesture… Amelie has even rejected drinking from colourful kiddy cups and moved straight on to water bottles… just like the ones Estelle drinks from. But at the same time, Amelie is pretty independent and can stand her ground. She is no pushover, and does get her own way when playing with Estelle.
And now that she’s walking, she is confident enough to want to do it independently…
As I stood watching her toddling around, after numerous refusals to hold my outstretched fingers… I realised that my baby has really turned one. One separate little person.
Sure, she still needs me. And probably will for many years to come. But she does not rely on me for everything anymore. And that makes me wanna curl up and weep. But at the same time, I am so proud of her.
I have selfish reasons for wanting to keep her as a baby. MY baby. With the first child, I was too busy experiencing everything as a new mother. With my sweet Amelie, I had the time to savour the lovely moments, enjoy all the baby-ness of an infant. But Amelie was determined to have none of my mushiness. From crawling at 6 months, to taking her first few steps at 8 months…
I guess I’ll have to take a leaf out of my children’s books… and get on with life. There are many more things to enjoy with the girls growing up, many more exciting experiences. And I’ll just have to lock some of these sweet moments into my memories… the lovely baby smells, the softness of the baby’s skin, the giggles when I tickle their tummies and the intense (and hungry) stares just for me. Don’t get me wrong, there are things I’d love to banish from my mind too. The non-stop crying that makes me almost murderous tops the list. The lack of sleep that turns one into a zombie. And probably the inability to concentrate because your breasts are full and the baby continues to slumber, and the slightest whimper will trigger a let-down.
This marks the end of a chapter for me. I need to throw out those well-worn nursing bras. Maybe tomorrow.